I wonder what my life would be like if I lived alone. No family, no friends, no housemates, just me.
Would I be the same person?
Part of me wants to live alone and not have anyone. Just sit quietly at some coffee shop in a town where no one knows my name, afterwards I can go home without anyone saying anything to me.
The other part of me wants people, anyone, to be around. Preferably people I know personally, like friends or family.
I think the more dominant side of me is the person who wants to be alone. I don't want friends, I don't want a relationship. I would like to keep family, though. But I want to stay alone. What's the point in having friends if they end up leaving? What's the point in me having a relationship if I'm not happy?
I guess the happiness caused by friends, lovers, and family all could equate to some sense of feeling less alone.
I want that loneliness, though. I want my own quiet life. Maybe a small apartment with a job I enjoy.
I wonder if this desire for loneliness will affect my teaching career I'm pursuing.
Loneliness is a comforting thing, but is it harmful?
Friday, November 16, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
who are you?
Ask anyone this and they'll respond one of two ways.
1. "My name is (insert name here), nice to meet you."
or
2. "I work/study/do (insert job/action here)."
Is that really who you are? You are what your name is, or what you do? That's how most people take the question unless they're asked to dig further into themselves to find the true answer. What are you; what makes you you?
I'm going to begin this with who I am now. I am selfish. I'm a lover, a friend, and a student. I love and I hate, I worry and I overthink. I am smart. I am weak. I am an artist. I'm hungry for a wealth of knowledge. I spend too much time on the Internet. I spend too little time with my family, and even less time with God. I unconsciously judge, and then consciously fend it off. I joke around. I sing in the shower when no one's home and sing even more obnoxiously in the car. I have friends and family who love me. I have a job I don't really like. I'm monetarily poor but rich in the important things.
These are the things that make me who I am, and this is only a small list. This list will change and grow with me in this journey. So I encourage you to ask yourself the same question, who are you?
1. "My name is (insert name here), nice to meet you."
or
2. "I work/study/do (insert job/action here)."
Is that really who you are? You are what your name is, or what you do? That's how most people take the question unless they're asked to dig further into themselves to find the true answer. What are you; what makes you you?
I'm going to begin this with who I am now. I am selfish. I'm a lover, a friend, and a student. I love and I hate, I worry and I overthink. I am smart. I am weak. I am an artist. I'm hungry for a wealth of knowledge. I spend too much time on the Internet. I spend too little time with my family, and even less time with God. I unconsciously judge, and then consciously fend it off. I joke around. I sing in the shower when no one's home and sing even more obnoxiously in the car. I have friends and family who love me. I have a job I don't really like. I'm monetarily poor but rich in the important things.
These are the things that make me who I am, and this is only a small list. This list will change and grow with me in this journey. So I encourage you to ask yourself the same question, who are you?
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