hello alone

I wonder what my life would be like if I lived alone. No family, no friends, no housemates, just me.
Would I be the same person?

Part of me wants to live alone and not have anyone. Just sit quietly at some coffee shop in a town where no one knows my name, afterwards I can go home without anyone saying anything to me.

The other part of me wants people, anyone, to be around. Preferably people I know personally, like friends or family.

I think the more dominant side of me is the person who wants to be alone. I don't want friends, I don't want a relationship. I would like to keep family, though. But I want to stay alone. What's the point in having friends if they end up leaving? What's the point in me having a relationship if I'm not happy?

I guess the happiness caused by friends, lovers, and family all could equate to some sense of feeling less alone.
I want that loneliness, though. I want my own quiet life. Maybe a small apartment with a job I enjoy.

I wonder if this desire for loneliness will affect my teaching career I'm pursuing.

Loneliness is a comforting thing, but is it harmful?